“What greater gift does thou bestow, what greater goodness can we know than Christ-like friends, whose gentle ways strengthen our faith, enrich our days.” (Hymn 293)
When I got back to Denver after the holidays I was excited to see people after being away and I was sorely disappointed when I realized that perhaps I have been kidding myself into thinking I had a lot of friends. A more accurate statement is to say I know a lot of people. I realized that those who I felt I could call upon to go on a walk, go to dinner, or go do something with me have moved or have gotten married. I was sad to think that there are very few people who live nearby who I would consider a close friend. To add salt to the wound, I also realized that unless there is a ward sponsored event, a formal party that someone is putting on, or me throwing, planning, or initiating the event that I really don’t ever have plans. This made me question if I have any friends at all. So, to prove to myself that I have no friends I refused to be proactive and seek others out to go do something. In reality, I wanted to be wrong, I wanted to believe that people really do care, and I longed to have a friend invite me to do something for a change.
Needless to say I was feeling pretty sorry for myself this past week, especially with how things were shaping up. It was looking more and more like I was correct in thinking I have no friends, only a lot of acquaintances and people I know. I started questioning why I was still in Denver. I felt that my usefulness here has come to an end and perhaps I should start actively pursuing other options.
On Friday, after I just updated my blog, a friend (who has moved), wrote on my Facebook wall saying, “Have I ever mentioned how much I love your blog? Well I do! It's almost like I still get to see you every once in a while. Glad to see life is treating you well.” A simple, yet very timely message. The very next day I was feeling down since I had no plans on a Saturday night because I was being stubborn and was not going to be the one to make plans. That evening I received a text inviting me to go on a Blizzard run (to DQ… not literally a run in the freezing cold which is not my idea of a good time). I am always amazed at the timeliness of things… coincidence? I don’t think so. One of my favorite quotes is from C.S. Lewis:
“In friendship, we think we have chosen our peers… in reality a few years difference in the dates of our births, a few more miles between certain houses, the choice of one university instead of another, the accident topic being raised or not raised at the first meeting, any of these chances might have kept us apart. But, for a Christian, there are, strictly speaking, no chances. A secret master of ceremonies has been at work. Christ, who said to the disciples, ‘Ye have not chosen me, I have chosen you,’ can truly say to every group of Christian friends, ‘Ye have not chosen one another, but I have chosen you for one another.’ The friendship is not a reward for our discriminating and good taste in finding one another out. It is the instrument by which God reveals to each the beauties of others.”
Good friends are a gift from the Lord. I cherish the good friends I have had over the years and the impact they have had in my life. I thank my friends for truly caring, for asking questions and wanting to get to know me, for allowing me to feel comfortable venting about stresses in life, for helping me resolve dilemmas, but mostly, I thank them for the kind word here and there or a thoughtful gesture which lets me know you care.
The Lord is very mindful of us and knows exactly what we need at the exact minute we need it. I needed to be reminded of the fact that I am blessed to be associated with so many amazing people whom I consider my friends. Reading my scriptures tonight I read 1 Nephi 21: 15, “ For can a woman forget her sucking child… yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee…” The tender mercies of the Lord are very real and they come in many different ways, even in something seemingly insignificant as a text message! All we have to do is watch for them and recognize them when they are given so we can give credit where credit is due.
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“Could this possibly be another glorious day?” – Sister Hinckley
5 comments:
I really wish I was there so I could play with you. Really. Really. Really.
I agree that the Lord does know exactly what you need and where you need to be. If your time in Denver is truly up then something else will come along, if not then you will stay and there will be many reasons why.
I think you are an amazing person and am grateful to have you as my sister and friend! I am sure everyone realizes that too. There always has to be a party planner though and I think you are that person. Everyone else waits for you to plan something. I am seen that no matter where I go.
Have a great week. love ya.
I love that quote from CS Lewis - I've never seen it before!
Glad things went well in the end. I've had weeks like that.
:)
Julie, I'm glad I found your blog. Thanks for linking the RS Blog to it.
I know this wasn't the entire point of your post, but I feel the same way all the time. If I don't initiate then I usually stay home. I feel like you may have the same problem as me. I see you as someone who doesn't have a set group of friends. If you did then you'd have stuff to do all the time, but since you are friends with everybody you may not have people that always remember to invite you to stuff. So don't think it's because you don't have friends, but because you have too many. :)
I think you and I discussed this at your mom's house but I've been feeling very similiar lately, about being the one to always plan things. So I've been playing the waiting game as well.
Just the week before you called me I was having lunch with David and saying how much it hurts that friends who were part of my everyday life in High School no longer seem to care that I exist. So I had to call him and tell him how excited I was that I saw you. The Lord really does have great timing!
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