No Denying It

Hello all! So, I have some exciting news..... I got a new job!  I’m sure this does not come as a shock to most of you since, as Jessica so nicely put it, I seem to have job A.D.D.  I am leaving the comfort and familiarity of Government and going to industry… scary!!! Yet, I have no doubt this is the right move, so it really is not scary at all.  I start on October 17th.  There is a lot of background information before all the pieces start coming together, so bear with me a I share how I reached that conclusion. 

As many of you know there was an opportunity to slide into a Government position in the office I currently work.  I applied for that job on July 25th (Side Note: Mom, this is the job I applied for the evening you and Annie went to see 17 Miracles.)  and we all know that the Government is notoriously slow, so it shouldn’t be a surprise that I finally heard from and got an interview a month and a half later! I had the formal interview on Tuesday, September 13th. 

Taking a step back, about a month ago I started thinking a lot about my upcoming interview with the Government.  I wanted to do well in the interview to redeem myself from the last horrible interview I had when I wanted to crawl under a rock and hide.  Yes, it was that bad!  That position was also for a Government position in the office I currently work.  I did not get that job.  So, regardless of whether I got the offer on this newly opened position, I wanted to do well in the interview to redeem myself from the previously horrible interview.   I spent a great deal of time prepping… asking people their thoughts, doing a lot of thinking about my career thus far, and coming up with a lot of examples I could pull on illustrating different situations.  Anyway, during this time of preparation I kept getting this feeling that perhaps government was not the right path for me even though that is what I wanted and it looked like I had a great shot of getting this position.

Taking another giant step back, it is important to understand that I had no intention of leaving civil service in the first place.  The only reason I took a Contractor position was to get home from Kuwait.  I had planned on, and wanted to, get another federal position and thus carry on my merry career way in the security of being a Government employee.  With that said, I concentrated my job search efforts only on federal government jobs.  

Now, let me take to you Friday, September 9th.  We did a little unconventional VTing that day and went to  the movie, Help.  When I got home after 10:00pm I turned on my computer, but I was not planning on doing any job search stuff.   Well, that changed when I got a thought that said, “What is out there in Industry?” I have learned to not ignore random thoughts like that, because they are not random at all, but rather a quiet prodding for me to do something which gets me headed down the right path.  Needless to say, my answer was “I have no idea since I have only been focused on Government jobs!” So, I immediately went to Indeed.com and typed the word “contract “ in the search box and the first job that popped up was the job I will be starting  in two weeks! I read through the description- sounded great, read through the qualifications- yep, met every one! So, I tweaked my resume, tweaked my cover letter and about 30 minutes later I had applied to the position. 

Tuesday, September 13th was my Government interview which did go rather well.  I redeemed myself, so I was happy.  The 13th was also the day I got a phone call from P.D. (Sorry, I don’t want to put the company name, since I don’t want people to find my blog if they search for this company name.)  P.D set up an interview for that Friday, September 16th. 

I think all my preparation for the Government interview paid off since I felt very relaxed in the P.D. interview.  I guess it did go as well as I thought since I was asked on Monday to come back for a second interview on Wednesday, September 21st. 

I must be doing something right, because on Friday, September 23rd I received both the offer from the Government and P.D.!!! Hmmmm what to chose??? Both are great positions, both have pretty much equal number of pros and cons, and both could potentially be a substantial pay cut.  The only difference is one had the spirit telling me to apply to the position and the other did not… the choice was really not too difficult.  The difficulty came with feeling okay with that choice and knowing it truly was what the Lord wanted for me. 

Saturday I had a nice drive where I turned off my music and had some time to think.  That night I went to the Relief Society Broadcast and when Sister Thompson mentioned coming across her Grandmother’s patriarchal blessing the thought came into my mind that I needed to read Dad’s blessing.  Then when President Uchtdorf was speaking (loved his talk) his second point about sacrifice really hit home to me.  He stated, “Second, forget not the difference between a good sacrifice and a foolish sacrifice.  An acceptable sacrifice is when we give up something good for something of far greater worth.”   I realized that money is not everything and there very well may be something of greater “worth” in this new job with P.D. which I cannot see, but I have to trust in the Master Planner who can.   

Last Sunday I was still seeking for that confirmation and reassurance that I was making the right decision.  At church there were a couple testimonies shared which spoke peace to my mind.  I cannot remember what was said, but I do remember the peace I felt about choosing P.D.   Also, during Sacrament meeting we sang “Lead, Kindly Light” and the phrase that resonated with me was “I loved to choose and see my path, but now, lead thou me on!” Though seemingly small, I don’t think these things were coincidences.  When I got home after church I had recalled the thought to read Dad’s patriarchal blessing.  So, I pulled it out and starting flipping to the back where it was located.  The page I landed on was a few pages before the blessing and the words on the page that jumped out to me were “I was offered a job…as a Subcontract Administrator.”   Turns out I didn’t need to read the blessing, but that is what got me to pull Dad’s journal out and I have no doubt those were the words I needed to see.  I do not think it coincidence that in my last interview with P.D. the lady over contracts told me that my position title would be “Subcontracts Administrator”.  I had forgotten that Dad did that at one point in his career and oh how I wish he was here so I could pick his brain and hear his stories.  I couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down my face when I realized that I have a father who, though not here physically, is still very much a part of my life, and I have a Heavenly Father who loves me enough to grant me the constant companionship of His Spirit.  It was a very humbling moment and one where I felt immense gratitude. 

While every logical bone in my being was telling me to accept the Government position I could not deny the spiritual aspect where I was certain the right choice was to accept the position with P.D.   It also helps knowing that of the 7 people who work there, 2 happen to be L.D.S.! Oh, and when have you been given a verbal offer where the HR guy tells you to pray about it?!!!! 

So, this past Monday, September 26th, I got and accepted the official written offer from P.D.  Yes, I am very scared to leave Government and jump into something 180 degrees different then what I do now.  Yes, it was very difficult to tell the Government hiring manager (who happens to be my friend that I have known since 2004, who is the reason I have my current job, and who just offered me a chance to get back into Government which is what I wanted) ‘ I am not accepting the offer.’  I’m sure you can imagine that this past week has been very emotionally and mentally draining for me due to my news and because it was the last week in September, in other words, fiscal year end craziness was in full swing! 

So, that is my news.  This job will keep me in Denver and I’m looking forward to riding my bike to work since it will be that close! I am also excited to decorate my new office and to learn a completely new side of contracting… guess I better study up on FAR Part 44!

I know that the Lord’s hand is in our lives.  How grateful I am for the love I am given which is evident through life’s little miracles.  Even though this is a giant leap of faith, I know it is right and I’ve never been lead astray before when I’ve done what I am supposed to do and trust in the Lord!